A Thousand Falling Stones

I hear them falling. The stones, I mean. They fall from the sky, bruising my skin. My heart. They fall from my eyes like tears. I am alone. The stones gather at my feet, they fill the room with their tinkling song. No matter the words that were spoken- the words I can't hear above the noise- the rocks will continue to fall. Each rock, no matter how small, means something. Many are my fears. Some are hopes. Only a couple are from what could have been. Stones born of dreams and shiney things. Most of those stones- the ones I had been gazing upon before the sky opened up and began to chuck more down at me-  were shattered. As if dropped from great heights, they have scattered far and wide. What I thought would be, is not, and what wasn't, is.

That is my very creative way of saying what is currently on my mind. If I say it too plainly, I may burst into tears (again) and would rather be mysterious about it. But the truth is, you deserve to know. That mean saying it in plain words. And it needs to be me that says it, before it is too late and I run out of time.

There has been some major changes to my life recently.

First, outreach has started. These great guys will be in Croatia by now. It is a very sad thing for me, as I will not be joining them. I am, instead, headed back to the states on Monday. There are many reasons for this, the most important one being God. As of now, he has other things planned for me. I am not failing the DTS- the outreach I will do is simply in the future instead of right now.

There is so much on my mind right now. I don't have the ability to say all I want to say- so instead I will tell you all a short story.

There were once five ducklings, a bear, a robin, a Great Horned Owl and a burrowing owl. The ducklings had the habit of following the bear, though sometimes they followed the robin as well. One day the five ducklings were told 'It is time, you will go on a long journey soon.' In preparation the fluffiest duckling was shaved, the sleepiest duckling caught a few extra z's. One duckling figured out the necessary statistics for their flight patterns (the bear refused to let them ride him the whole way to where they were going). One duckling sat back and noticed all that the others did. The last duckling- the one that had a habit of chasing butterflies- started to get ready, preparing notes, pasting words on the walls. (Because traveling required they learn extra words). But in the days before their first flight it was found out that that duckling needed to stay behind. There would only be four journeying together with the others (except for the Great Horned Owl, who had to leave to greater lands and adventures).  Her preparations ceased. She began to question everything and anything she could. At first she resisted it, wanted it to be false, a joke. It was not. This duckling, the smallest of them all, had to go back to where she came from. So she climbed up onto a rock and spoke to the others. "Goodbye," she said. "May God bless you and keep you safe." She could not give a grand speech then, no matter how she would have liked to. So she kept her words simple, and she lifted her beak high. Even if she was not going with the others, she was not without.

-- Farewell, ducklings, I will miss you. 

The LIST:
1) I might be leaving the DTS, but that doesn't mean I will stop having adventures. I will still update this and let you know what's happening with me.
2) I am very grateful to my staff. They are amazing, and often challenged me to be more than I believed I could be. I will miss you guys as well!
3) I found that I am not good at goodbyes
4) Like really really bad
5) So bad that I don't even say what I want to say because it gets stuck half formed in my brains.
6) And it only finishes forming once the goodbyes are done and everyone is gone.
7) No matter who you are, where you are at, or what you are doing, if you follow Christ you are blessed to be a blessing. I remind myself of this- no matter that things aren't following the plans, I am still so very blessed.
8) WATCH OUT. One of these days you'll see; I'll be flying highest of them all. ;p
9)And finally....
10)The type of sappy quotes I want to make, just because I can:

"This isn't the end. This isn't even the beginning of the end. However, this is the end of the beginning."
- Winston Churchill

“In the middle I want to be at the end, at the end I want to be in the beginning, and in the beginning I want to be in bed.” 
― Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Really, though. This is just the beginning of a New Adventure. See you there.
-A-